


Unbreakable

by Tory (Ejes)



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Friendship, Kids, Slice of Life, Vexen and Zexion totally stealing the show, Xigbar enjoys gossip to much, having fun
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-10
Updated: 2018-09-10
Packaged: 2019-07-10 17:45:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,618
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15954368
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ejes/pseuds/Tory
Summary: At the beginning, in the very first days of the Organization XIII, their names were still Lea and Isa, despite everyone said. They had lost their hearts, but their friendship wasn't one to break that easily. Day after day, month after month, they evolved, they grew up, and so did everyone else. Follow the path of those who would ultimately become Axel and Saïx. [OS]





	Unbreakable

"Hey, do you think what they said is true? That our hearts are gone?"

The two boys were sitting on a bridge, their legs dangling off the edge, staring at the horizon. They weren't any older than fifteen, and their place should have been at school, not sitting there with oversized black coats shielding them from the wind.

"Well, that's what they said. They said that Darkness took it away. Why do you ask? Don't you feel different?"

His friend chuckled. It was true that he  _was_  feeling different, as if the world had lost some of its colours, as if food had lost some of its taste. Even the snacks they were sharing tasted really plain.

"I was thinking it was pretty cool, actually."

"Cool?" The first boy looked at him, and he grinned.

"Yeah, cool! I mean, if I have no heart, then your poisonous comments cannot break it anymore! I am indestructible!"

They laughed. "I think you've always been broken, Lea. I couldn't break what has never been there."

Lea gasped, a hand on his chest. "Are you sure they are gone? Because I am certain I felt something being crushed in my chest right now."

"That was your ego."

"Stop acting so clever, Isa!" But instead of sounding hurt, Lea actually sounded amused, and they laughed again.

They really stood out, no matter where they went, the strangest pair of friends. Lea was often the one you would notice first, with his bright red hair, and his noisy behaviour. Isa, with his soft blue hair and discrete attitude, might seem really quiet in comparison - but he was always ready to drop a snarky comment at his friend.

They had grown up together, being friends even before they learnt how to talk - at least, this was Lea's version. According to Isa, they had met the day Lea fell in a bush of thorns and Isa helped him out, the red boy crying loudly in his ears even long after he was out of the bush. Which story was the true one? Hard to tell, as no one who could have witnessed the scene was alive anymore.

They used to live on a beautiful world named Radiant Garden, and had nothing to complain about, until that day Darkness invaded the world, destroying everyone. Only those who had been in the Castle at that time had survived, even though their hearts had been stolen. Out of a whole world, merely eight people had lived. Or so they had been told.

"Why did you want to come here anyway?" Lea asked after a while. Isa had brought them to this place, a quiet village with a path that led to a dense forest. The boy stood up, a smile Lea didn't like on his face. The "up-to-no-good" smile. Thing was he was usually the one with such a smile, not Isa.

"I thought it would be great for us to train. We have powers, now, don't we? These dark corridors. But we don't control them well. We're still slow. Time to practice."

"Oh yeah? Any suggestion? You want us to see who can open one first?"

Isa's grin grew wider. "I actually had something else in mind… I trust you, Lea." And just like that, he let himself fall from the bridge. Lea reacted in half a second: if he wanted his best friend not to get hurt, he had to open a portal quickly. He gathered all that strange dark energy within him, throwing it towards the falling body of the blue haired boy. He had to make it in time.

He didn't make it in time.

The portal opened up where Isa had been a split second ago, but that meant it wasn't where he was anymore. Lea heard a huge  _splash_ , and, panicked, tried to spot his friend. No matter how grey and dull the world looked since they lost their hearts, he was currently terrified.

"I-Isa?" He called, his voice shaking. Only silence answered. Then, after a while, someone burst into laughter.

"We're lucky it's water and not rocks or I'd be dead!" Lea finally spotted him, swimming towards the river side. Relief surged through him, as well as a bit of anger.

"What were you thinking, jumping like that? How stupid are you?  _I_  am the stupid, reckless one, and  _you_  are the one telling me my ideas are bad! What if you got hurt? How am I to explain that you killed yourself because you thought I could save you?"

Isa climbed back to the bridge, his gaze amused, but his smile softer than his previous grin. "Oh, come on. It's not that high, I knew I wouldn't risk a thing.  _And_  it is really hot today and I could use a cool bath. Want to see?" He gave a big push on Lea's back, shoving him into the river. The cold water cooled the hot-headed mind, and he ended up laughing, climbing to the bridge again.

"Oh, you wanna play it dirty? Very well. Try to summon a portal to save you from  _THAT_!" He grabbed Isa by the waist, throwing him into the water, a big splash echoing when Isa failed to open the portal in time, their laughters filling the forest.

They played - no,  _practised_ , they said with a grin - all day, until the sun started setting, leaving the sky crimson. They were shivering as the wind started to remind them what cold felt like, but their eyes were sparkling. They were now much faster at creating portals, and opening them where they wanted. Which had only led to more games.

"Man, we are going to be in so much troubles," Lea said while trying to wring out his clothes, shaking his hair like a dog would.

"That is something I am used to, hanging out with you," Isa sighed, his slightly oversized coat heavy with the water.

"Hey, should I remember that this was  _your_  idea?" Lea gave him a fake angry glare, and Isa replied with a mischievous smile.

"Tell me, Lea, who would really believe  _I_  am the mind behind all of that?"

"You are one true monster." Lea faked a shiver, which wasn't that hard with all that cold wind. He didn't mind getting scolded a bit. They had fun. They tried as much as they could to spend some time together, to never forget who they were, who they used to be. Even though their hearts were gone, they still had each other, and as long as they did, nothing would be able to break them. Even if that meant an occasional scolding.

"Stop grinning like that and we're good to go." He tried his best to regain his composure, wearing his poker face mask as they crossed the portal.

They landed straight into the meeting room - not the one with ridiculously high seats, but a smaller, cosier room where they would usually report back. Their missions were rather easy, probably because they were young and they were still being tested - it usually meant travelling to worlds, report anything unusual. Any strong source of Light. Any abnormal number of Heartless, as they were drawn to pure Light.

Xigbar was sitting on a chair, his feet crossed on the table. Had Lea kept his grin, he would have lost it right away. Of all the people around here, Xigbar was one of those he liked the least. Not that he liked any of them, save Isa, though.

"Now what have we got here? Look at our poor, soaking wet kittens! Fell into the sea?"

Isa shrugged. "The bridge was slippery. We fell into the river." Lea did his best not to stare at his friend. Isa didn't often lie to cover them up, he'd usually drop a "It's all Lea's fault" and then Lea would spend a very bad time while Isa smirked. He guessed that since it was  _his_  idea, he wouldn't let Lea get punished in his stead this time.

"Is that so?" The deep voice behind them made them jump. None of them had noticed Xemnas was here. The mysterious leader of this Organization - the one who gave them a roof and three meals a day - was looking at them, his expression as unreadable as ever. Isa lowered his head. Lea stared at the man with a challenging look.

"Like Isa said. However, on the other hand, we found out that Heartless started gathering in a village. There aren't many of them yet, but more than last time. I think something caught their attention."

"I see. Shall I send someone with you next time,  _Axel_ ,  _Saïx_ , to make sure you won't slip again?"

Lea winced. Xemnas wasn't a fool. He probably could tell they were lying. And he subtly reminded them who they were now.

Axel. Saïx. When they lost their heart, they gained a new name, the X like a collar to show that they belonged to someone. Xemnas once said that it showed  _unity_ , that this X was the proof of the past they all shared. But Lea wasn't one to be fooled by pretty words. He wasn't even sure no one really believed it. But they had a roof above their head, they had food, and they got paid, so he wouldn't be complaining either. The only thing they couldn't force him to do was to call Isa by his new name.  _His slave name_ , he sometimes bitterly thought.

"We will be more careful next time, Lord Xemnas."

Lea suppressed a smile. Isa and him never really enjoyed hierarchy. Lea was the type to kick Dilan in the leg and running away while calling him an old man. Isa would only use honorific titles to make fun of people with a fake deference, flattering their ego. That was who they were, who they used to be: disrespectful brats with too much time on their hands. No loss of heart could ever change that.

"You will indeed." Xemnas left on these mysterious words, and Lea slid a worried glance to his friend. Isa glared at Xigbar, who was still giving them his horrible smirk, and left the room. Lea quickly followed.

"Well, that didn't go as wrong as I thought it would." Lea crossed his arms behind his head. "But now I'm dying for a shower, and dry clothes."

"Same here. See you at dinner,  _Axel_." Lea tensed a bit, but then Isa winked at him and he relaxed. He shoved his best friend and hurried to his room.

He spent a long time under the shower, the hot water burning his skin until he was bright red from the tips of his hair to the tips of his toes. While the cool water of the river had felt good, nothing felt better than an almost-boiling shower.

He quickly dried himself, wrapping a towel around his hair and catching a spare dry shirt. He headed towards the dining room, where Isa was waiting, listening to Vexen complain about something. Vexen always had something to complain about. This time, it was about how poorly the Dusks had cleaned up his room (could you imagine? He found a  _leaf_  on his floor!). If one could die of boredom, Isa was probably going to kick the bucket really soon. Lea threw his body onto the chair next to his friend, waiting for food.

Only some people could keep their physical appearance when losing their hearts, they had learnt. Those who didn't have hearts strong enough were changed into lesser Nobodies, the most common being called Dusks. The rumour was that Xemnas had the ability to turn a faced Nobody into a Dusk, but this came from Xigbar, and Lea didn't trust him much. Anyway, some of these Dusks worked in the Castle as servants, doing the chores, preparing the food, washing the dishes. Some members didn't join for dinner, having food served in their rooms. But Lea and Isa would meet in the dining room every day for breakfast and dinner, sometimes for lunch if they weren't on mission. Even if that meant listening to Vexen's rants or face the awkwardness of Lexaeus's deep silences.

Tonight's meal was a steak with some mashed vegetables. Lea winced. He wasn't a big fan of vegetables. Taking his fork and knife, he braced himself - he couldn't show a sign of weakness, not against carrots. He needed to be brave. He took a mouthful of it and frowned. It wasn't half that bad, after all.

"How many times do we have to tell them this isn't suitable for you? Give me that knife. I'll cut it for you."

Vexen snatched Zexion's cutlery, cutting the meat into small bites. Vexen always had something to complain about, and he pretended he did not care about anyone, but at least he took care of Zexion. Lea stared at the boy. Out of everyone around, Zexion might be the one the most out of place. He used to be an orphan Even fostered, taking care of him since his parents couldn't, and Ienzo helped out in the labs as much as he could. And when the Darkest Day happened, Even fell trying to protect Ienzo. But Darkness still took both of their hearts. The scientist, and the six-year-old boy who was still too young to cut his meat by himself. This wasn't fair for him. Even though Lea didn't like that kid very much (children were a bore), he knew that his childhood had been taken away from him. He knew that  _their_  childhood had been taken away. And it made him really angry.

"What are you thinking about?" Isa asked, probably noticing his frown.

"Nothing. I'm not hungry. Today exhausted me, I'm going to bed."

Isa shot him a desperate look - he didn't want to be alone with Vexen again - but Lea pushed his plate back and ignored him. He used to go with the flow. As long as he had Isa, he didn't care much about having a heart, about where they lived, about what they did of their days.

That didn't stop him to feel annoyed at that condition sometimes. And so, oh so helpless.

* * *

The following days were pretty quiet. Both Lea and Isa had been sent on various missions with other members, but never together. Was that what Xemnas had meant? Or was it just a coincidence?

Lea was peacefully sleeping when the screams started, waking him violently. Someone in another room was screaming, high pitched sounds that made his blood freeze in his veins. Curious, he opened his door to see where this was coming from - and judging by the other heads poking out the other doors, he wasn't the only curious one.

Vexen darted in the corridor, rushing to a door and opening it. Ah, it made sense to Lea now. Vexen disappeared into the room, and silence soon fell again. The curious heads disappeared behind doors again. Only Lea kept his door open, sitting back on his bed.

After a few minutes, Vexen walked down the corridor, carrying Zexion in his arms. Zexion was seven now, too old to be carried, and yet Vexen didn't say anything. The boy's face was wet with tears, and Lea heard Vexen whisper soothing words. "It's over now," he said, "the nightmare's gone. Monsters are gone."

Lea closed his eyes. He sometimes still dreamt of the Heartless attack that day. No wonder a  _kid_  would be traumatized by that. It wasn't even the first time Zexion had nightmares, although Lea knew Vexen did his best to hide that fact - nightmares meant feelings, feelings meant heart. Was he worried that Zexion was an anomaly? That he was still Ienzo, after all? Surely, Xemnas wouldn't blame a child for being a child. Maybe kids, even without a Heart, still cried a lot. Was Vexen afraid to see his protégé turned into a Dusk? Lea didn't know what to think of that.

Sleep wouldn't come. Even an hour after Vexen brought a sleeping Zexion back to his bed, Lea was still laying on his bed, eyes wide open, staring at the ceiling.

Someone softly knocked on his door.

"Hey. Are you asleep?"

That was a dumb question, of course. The only way Lea would sleep with his eyes open would be if he were dead. He mentally noted that this was a skill he could learn, though, as this would be very useful for long boring meetings.

"I'm not," he simply answered, because he had heard the tone of voice that had been used. A scared voice.

"Can I come in, then?"

"You always can."

Isa slowly stepped in, and Lea turned his head to look at him. His friend was staring at his feet, his face paler than usual. He sat on the bed.

"What's up?" Lea tried to sound casual, as if nothing was happening. For a moment, Isa stayed silent, Lea didn't press. He would talk when he felt like it.

"You heard him too, right?"

"Zexion?" Isa nodded. "I don't think there's a living soul in any world that didn't hear him. I'd never have thought his voice could be so high pitched. Oh, your room is next to his, right? Must have been really loud for you."

"I heard what Vexen told him."

"Let me guess. 'It's okay, I'm here now.' or something like that?" Isa shook his head with a sigh.

"He told him that he would have to learn to be quiet. That he would have to learn to pretend these nightmares didn't exist. That we were not supposed to have these. That he would need to grow up. Say, Lea? Do you… Do  _you_  have nightmares?"

Lea took some time to process Vexen's words. They seemed a bit harsh to a kid. Had Vexen said that to anyone else, it wouldn't have been shocking, but Zexion was usually the exception. This could be his way of protecting him, though.

"Yeah. Sometimes. Not often, but there are nights I dream of Heartless invading my house. Killing my family. Then I wake up and I cannot close my eyes again. You?"

"Do you think he's right? Do you think we shouldn't have nightmares, we should grow up? How can we even have nightmares if we don't have hearts?"

Lea scoffed. "It doesn't have anything to do with hearts. Nightmares come from your memories, and memories come from here," he poked Isa's forehead, "not here." He then poked his chest. "Of course we can feel fear. Fear is what is keeping you alive. If you had no fear, then you would jump in front of a bear and get yourself killed. Losing your heart won't make you suicidal."

"But then, couldn't we say the same thing about other feelings as well?"

Lea sighed. "It's too late in the night to think about this. It's best to stop here, before we overthink. Do you want to sleep over?"

"...Yeah."

Lea moved a bit, leaving some room for his friend, and Isa curled into a ball next to him. They both knew they were probably too old for this, and yet, as Lea started to finally fall asleep, he felt Isa take his hand and he simply squeezed it.

"I miss my family." Isa whispered as he fell asleep.

"Yeah, me too." Lea answered back right before peacefully snoring.

* * *

They had been promised weapons. Which ones, Xemnas wouldn't tell, though. "You will know when you are ready." was the only mysterious answer they ever received - Xemnas had never really been keen on precise answers. The first one to get a weapon was Xigbar, which wasn't surprising, although he refused to tell where he got his brand new guns. "You'll know when you're older," he'd say, mimicking their leader. That made Lea pissed, while it made Isa shrug. "We don't need weapons anyway." But of course they did. While Heartless ignored them most of the time when they went on their observation missions, they would sometimes attack. Lea had saved Isa a couple of days ago by throwing rocks at the monster and by running to lure it away. Even Xaldin sometimes came back with bruises and injuries - when asked why he didn't cast a cure, he'd shrug and said it would heal anyway. Lea wasn't even sure the man even learnt how to cast a Cure, or ever bought any potion to the greedy moogle who had settled in their living room.

Vexen stormed into the room, back from a mission. He had several cuts on the face, his hair was a mess, he was carrying an injured Zexion on his back, but what Lea noticed right away was the shield he was holding in his free hand.

"Wow, you got your weapon as well?" Lea felt a tinge of jealousy. Vexen barely ever went out on missions, saying his greatest mission happened in his lab. Lea didn't know what he was working on, though. Something related to Darkness, he guessed. The man ignored him, putting his shield on the floor and Zexion on a couch. Xemnas stepped into the room.

"So you have returned. Was the mission successful?"

"Successful?" Vexen glared at him, and Lea heard Isa gasp. Vexen's words were bitter, poisonous, and he did nothing to hide his anger towards Xemnas. While Isa was getting ready to retreat, Lea sat comfortably, bracing himself for some entertainment. It ought to be good.

"I told you it was too early, Lord Xemnas. I told you he was too young for such a mission."

"You both came back alive. Which means he wasn't. And I see you got your weapon, as well. A shield… How interesting."

"He almost got  _killed_  by that monster. Had this shield not appeared, we would both be dead by now. What is the point of sending us to missions if we cannot defend ourselves? What good are we to you if we are dead? A dead pawn is no pawn at all."

So Lea wasn't the only one thinking they were simply convenient tools. Would Xemnas even try to deny that? Lea didn't know how much he could trust him. How much he should.

"Should I assume that you return empty handed, Vexen?"

"Yes, it is safe to assume this. We haven't collected any Heartless for my researches, because said Heartless tried to kill us and all I could do was cast weak ice spells. And Ien...Zexion barely knows how to tie his shoelaces, so don't expect him to fight. His place is in the lab until he is at least twelve. And then we'll see if he is competent enough to go on missions without getting himself killed. This is not a request, Lord Xemnas. This is a fact. Now I have to attend to my apprentice, so if you'd excuse me."

His shield vanished, and he took Zexion in his arms once again, carrying somewhere else - the lab, or the boy's room, Lea guessed. Xigbar whistled and laughed once the scientist was gone.

"Well, that's a first. Are you going to let him talk to you that way? Or do you want me to pay him a little… visit?" His smirk made Lea shiver. What would Xigbar do? Hit Vexen until the man apologized? Blackmail him? Lea shivered again. Threaten Zexion? But Xemnas shook his head and rose his hand to silence Xigbar.

"No need for that. I am sure it won't happen again. And he had a point."

"He did?" Isa stared at Xemnas, dubious. Sure, Vexen had plenty of valid points, but none that he would have expected Xemnas to approve.

"The worlds are getting dangerous for those without a weapon, and you all lack some skills when it comes to magic. While I cannot do anything about the former… I think some proper magic training might be required."

Lea sighed. That sounded boring. Visiting worlds meant they could discover new places, and gossip about everyone. Training was just like school, endless hours of people telling him all he did wrong instead of telling him how to do it right.

"Do you think we'll get our weapons soon?" Lea whispered to Isa, who rolled his eyes.

"Lea, he said he got it by almost dying. If that's how you get it, there's no hurry in that."

Xemnas nodded. "No hurry indeed. For now, I want you to perfect your magic. All missions are cancelled until further notice."

"What? But it's not fair!" Lea was now really annoyed. He hated feeling trapped - and in this land of eternal light, he missed the sun already. Isa put down the book he had been pretending to read and came by his side.

"How about a competition, then? The first one who can master a spell wins, and the loser will have to obey every order for a whole day."

Lea's eyes started shining right away. "You're going to regret that, Isa, because I will master  _all_  spells before you can even summon a tiny flame!" And with that, he was off, running to a training room so he could start training. Xemnas looked at Isa.

"You know how to make him listen, Saïx." Isa shrugged, staring at the door Lea had disappeared to with an amused smile.

"I'm one of the few people he'll ever listen to. He's hot headed, you just need to know how he works. He complains a lot, but if there's a goal, he'll do whatever it takes to reach it."

Isa excused himself, following his friend. If there was something only Lea knew, it was that Isa might be even more competitive ; and while he didn't complain much, he could feel within his chest some kind of anger that would only grow and grow.

* * *

It appeared one didn't need to put their life on the line to get a weapon, as Lea learnt. They had been training their magic for a month, and he was getting really good at Fire spells. Isa was a more balanced magician, not excelling at anything in particular, which only made the frustration grow, even though he hid it.

They had been practising Thunder spells - something they both were terrible at. "That's it, Thunder is my least favourite spell, and I hereby hate anyone who can master it." And to prove how bad he was at it, he cast a lightning bolt at a very random place - merely a tiny spark. That happened to hit Xaldin.

Nowadays, Xaldin and Lea usually ignored each other, Xaldin wanting nothing to do with "immature kids" and Lea despising "brainless brutes". But Xaldin had had a tough week, being sent on missions even though he was weaponless ( "I was a guard, I don't need a weapon to fight", he'd proudly say), and he was already irritated. Lea's spark ignited his anger, and his face turned bright red, as he turned to them with eyes clearly stating his murderous intent.

"You little brat, you did that on purpose, didn't you?"

Lea smirked. "I didn't, or I would have aimed for the face,  _Brains_. Not that there's much to fry up there." It only made Xaldin angrier. Isa sighed, used to such a familiar scene, although it'd been a while since last time.

"You will apologize, or I'll…"

"You'll what? Glare me to death? Even back at the castle, the worst you were allowed to do was take my frisbees away. Now that I think of it, I never got them back."

"You will regret this, Axel." And within a second, the big man was holding the boy by the collar, lifting him so that his feet wouldn't be touching the ground. Isa wasn't really worried. Dilan had never really hurt Lea, so he didn't expect Xaldin to do so.

"You want to know something funny, kid?" Lea pretended to yawn, but Isa could read in his body language that he was ready to leap. "When I worked for Ansem, my hands were tied, because he wouldn't have liked me to beat a kid up. But do you think Lord Xemnas cares as much? Also, you're not a kid anymore, now, are you?" The man balled his fist, and Isa blanched. Maybe Xaldin would do so. No, it was  _more than likely_  that he would. Isa could read from Lea's face that the teenager realised that too. Xaldin bared his teeth. "After all you've put me through, I'm sure I owe you at least that much."

It all happened so fast, Isa couldn't follow. Xaldin threw his fist to Lea's face, and then some kind of light blinded them. Isa heard Xaldin scream, and when he could finally see again, he realised Lea had cast a Fire spell to defend himself - not any kind, though, but a massive, powerful flame, that had probably burnt Xaldin's hands a bit. Lea was panting, a circle of flames around him, almost as bright as the flames in his eyes. He was holding in each hand some kind of hoops with spikes, also on fire. Chakrams. Isa had once seen some in a book, but it was the first time he'd see some real ones - where did they come from?

"Look at that, old man. Looks like you're losing to a kid, aren't you? How about I make these sideburns of yours burn for real? I'm sure you'd look much-" Lea's taunts were interrupted by a lance that missed him by an inch. Five similar ones were floating around the former guard, all pointed towards the red head.

"Open your mouth once again and the next one won't miss, midget."

Oh, Isa knew. He knew Lea couldn't resist such a challenge. He knew his best friend would once again open his mouth. So he did the only thing that came to his mind - and threw himself between the two of them, facing Xaldin.

"He's sorry. But you're right, we're not kids anymore, and it is time to forget the silly things we did when we were. We're all equals here and we shall all treat one another with respect. Which means no more childish fights. Don't you think?"

He could feel Lea snicker even before he heard him, and shot him a deadly glare. Lea grinned back at him, but the flames quickly died out, and he stared at Xaldin.

"Yeah, what he said. I said bad things. My bad. I was angry because you took my Frisbees away, but this…" He looked at his new weapons. " _This_  is much cooler. No hard feelings, old man. I forgive all the times you tried to ruin my life, including today." He winked at Xaldin and turned his attention back to Isa, fully ignoring the man. "Looks like I've got my weapons before you do! And I am obviously a Fire genius. We had a deal, you are now my slave for a week, Isa!"

"I do not remember such abusive terms. But I do remember that you said you would master  _all_  spells, didn't you?"

Xaldin muttered something about ' _Don't come crying if you die on a mission_ ' and ' _accidents happen_ ' and left them, the palms of his hands red and blistered. Isa didn't feel sorry a split second for that. But when Lea offered his hand for a high five, Isa didn't react either.

"That was stupid, immature and almost got you killed."

"Don't be so dramatic. He wouldn't have killed me. I'm sure he would have stopped even before touching me," and they both knew Xaldin wouldn't have, "and it got me these super cool new weapons. I'm sure you're jealous." When Isa didn't answer, Lea frowned, concerned. "You aren't jealous for real, are you? I'm sure you'll get yours soon. I think mine appeared when I finally let out all that annoyance I had in me. I was so pissed he was going to hit me and that nobody would care! I'm sure you're keeping things to yourself, don't you? You always did. Maybe you need to let it all out, and your weapon will materialise!"

"I guess you're right. I'm not really jealous, though. I was just thinking that you will be sent back to missions and I won't. I'll finally get some peace. Maybe that's what I need to get my weapon and smack your face."

He thought about the anger in his chest, the very thing he was keeping hidden to the world. Would he have to let it out? He feared what would happen if he did, and he suddenly wished to never have a weapon.

* * *

Lea was a lot of things, but he wasn't stupid. He knew his behaviour displeased the higher ups. He would answer back, he would do as he pleased, the simple fact that he refused to call Isa  _Saïx_  was a sign of rebellion. And he knew that they were trying to do all they could to remind him that he was just a pawn, that he had no will, and that he wasn't supposed to have friends.

Isa was smarter, though. Isa was just as rebellious as his best friend, but he hid it better. He would obey orders, lower his head and look sorry when they were scolded. He wouldn't call Lea  _Axel_  when talking to him, but he would use that name when talking about him. Pretending to fit in. Concealing all of his feelings whenever there was anyone in the room but Lea. His biggest act of rebellion was refusing to summon his weapon - and whenever someone asked, he'd say he tried again and again, and knew he would succeed one day. Currently, only two people couldn't summon it yet - and the other one was Ienzo. He pretended to try while praying to fail, because he could feel that this would lead to terrible things. He feared the anger in his chest.

Yet, staying locked in the Castle training while the others were going out on missions slowly drove him crazy. He longed for the sun on his face, he longed for the endless flower fields and running after Lea on lively streets. Lea did his best to hide that he was enjoying his time out, but Isa could read it in the sparkles in his eyes, in the blush of his cheeks.

"Let's get out of here," he said out of the blue one night he was playing cards with Lea in his room. Lea smirked, his eyes still on the game.

"Where would we go? They'd find us. They'd kill us, I'm sure."

Isa sighed. He knew all that. "I'm not talking about running away forever. I'm talking about running away for tonight. I haven't left this place for months. I just want to visit some place, no matter where, as long as it's not  _there_." He shuddered, looking at the plain white walls around him. Until then, he never thought you could miss  _colours_. But now he did, the only colours he knew being the red of Lea's hair, the blue of his own, and the terrifying gold of Xemnas's eyes.

Lea threw the rest of his cards on the bed, his smirk now a grin. Isa looked at the cards - he would have lost, and Lea would have boasted forever.

"Where do you want to go, then? You chose."

Isa thought about it. They had visited many places before. He closed his eyes and a place came to his mind right away. He smiled. "The beach. I want to go to the beach." Lea snickered.

"You are so predictable I had opened a portal long before you decided! Let's go then, and quickly, before they notice. We need to be back by morning."

The boys grabbed their black coats and rushed through the corridor of darkness. Isa didn't like it much in there, but he had to admit this was a rather convenient mean of transportation. They ended up on a shore, the sun setting on the sea, making it bright red. Lea threw himself on the sand.

"Last time I got there, there were Heartless swarming under the sea, as if there was something down there. I hope Xemnas doesn't believe I'll check that out, because last time I checked, I couldn't breathe under water!"

"Care to check again?" Isa asked with a mischievous grin, to which Lea answered with a similar one.

"But that doesn't mean that I would lose to you in a breath-holding competition!" He jumped on his feet and ran to the water, not before throwing his black coat away. Isa chuckled and followed him, amazed by how much energy Lea had at any time.

They played for hours in the sea. Swimming, competing, skipping stones, they played until they were out of breathe, until their eyes burnt with the salt, until their hair were nothing but tangles. Isa enjoyed every second of it, refusing to think about the fact that they would soon have to head back, back to a reality where he wouldn't be able to leave anymore.

"Tell me, Isa… You're not even trying to get your weapon, are you?" Was Lea reading his mind, or did he knew him just that well? Isa shrugged.

"What makes you say that? You said that yours appeared when you were really angry. But I'm coolness personified, I never lose my temper."

Lea rolled his eyes. "First, I'm much cooler than you. And then, do you think I can't tell when you're lying? Everytime you tell them that you tried and failed, I can tell that's not the truth. So why aren't you trying? You'll get to go out again. We won't have to sneak out like that."

Isa escaped his stare, looking at the sand instead. "It's complicated. You wouldn't understand."

"Try me."

"I don't want to. I don't want to be even more a puppet than what I currently am. And I don't want to talk about it. Let's go back before we're found out."

Head low, feeling miserable for hiding things to his best friend, Isa called a corridor that would lead them back to his room. His hair was still wet and smelled of salt - he would have to wash it quickly.

Right before he stepped back into the portal, he felt Lea's hand on his shoulder. His friend chuckled.

"No matter what your reasons are, that's fine with me. I'll sneak out with you as much as you wish. Buddies for life, remember?"

Isa sighed with a smile. "It looks that even in the afterlife, I'm stuck with you anyway. Let's go."

They stepped back into his room. If only they had not.

* * *

"Someone's in trouble…" The boys froze at Xigbar humming these words. He was staring at them with his only eye, a smirk on his face that meant no good. But he wasn't the scariest one in the room - Xemnas, standing next to him, looking at them with a neutral expression, was.

"Ah, you finally come back. We have been looking everywhere for the two of you, Axel, Saïx."

"Yeah, I'm sure you were deadly worried," Lea snickered. Isa discreetly kicked him. He would bring only more trouble.

"You were looking for us, Lord Xemnas?" he asked from his most polite voice.

"Do you think I would not notice a portal opening in the middle of the night in my own Castle, Saïx?"

"So there was no point in looking for us, if you knew we were gone already," spat Lea, and Isa wished he would shut up.

"We're sorry, Lord Xemnas. We just wanted to go outside for a little while. We didn't see any harm in that."

"Outside? And why would you want to go outside?" Despite Xemnas's neutral intonations, the threat was pretty clear. It was a delicate topic. Isa couldn't just tell he was feeling trapped here, he couldn't say how much he dreamt of freedom. He couldn't find a proper way to justify this. Lea could and spoke up.

"It's my fault, Lord Xemnas. Isa keeps training in here, and I haven't been on mission with him for a long time. I wanted him to come with me. I've been asking him to sneak out for days and he always refused because he had to train. He said he would come with me once he has his weapon. So I told him that we were going to train together tonight. I lied because I wanted him to come. Please don't be mad at him, I just wanted to show him this new world. Since I do have a weapon, I thought I could protect us both if needed."

Isa could weigh the implication of Lea's words. He wasn't simply covering him up, he was taking the full blame for disobeying a direct order. This time, he wouldn't get out of this with a mere scolding, and Lea knew that. He knew, and yet he was ready for it. Isa wanted to step in, defend himself and defend his friend, but Lea shot him a warning glare that stopped him from doing so.

"I am not mad at either of you, Axel." Xemnas sighed, and Isa frowned. Xemnas  _never_  sighed. This was only an act. Isa feared for the worst. "However, I am disappointed you disobeyed me, once again. What if something had happened? The reason Saïx cannot leave this place is so that nothing will happen to him. But I hear your… regrets of not going out on missions with him. Very soon, you will be able to go back together, like you used to."

Lea's face lit up with hope and joy ; Isa caught the glance Xemnas and Xigbar exchanged and couldn't share his friend's excitement. Xemnas looked at Isa, and the boy shivered.

"Xigbar and I have thought of a very special training to help you get your weapon. What do you say, Saïx? I'm certain you do not wish to make Axel wait for you any longer…"

And with this, it was done. He was even more trapped than ever. He had no other choice but to go, to accept this. The threat was clear - if he did not follow, Lea would pay the price. He lowered his head.

"Of course, Lord Xemnas. Thank you for your help."

"Perfect. Then let's not waste time. Your training starts now."

He followed Xemnas and Xigbar, casting a last desperate look at Lea who was starting to realise that things weren't as bright as he'd thought. The redhead ran to Isa, throwing his arms around him.

"I'll see you soon, Isa, okay? Even if they don't let you out of that training room or whatever. I'll find a way."

Isa chuckled, trying to hide how scared he was. "Of course we'll see each other soon. I'm going to have that weapon right away and I'll be back by lunch. See you there, buddy."

He slowly let go of Lea and turned back. This training was the only thing that separated him from freedom.

Isa didn't came back for lunch. Or dinner. Or the next day. Lea waited, and waited again, worried. Neither Xigbar nor Xemnas were around either, which meant he had no clue what was going on. He didn't even know where Isa was. He didn't come back at night to sleep in his room. And Lea couldn't help but think that this was all because of him. Days went by and no one knew a thing - Vexen was growing even more colder and distant by the days, even to Zexion ; Lea realised that taking Isa away wasn't just to punish  _him_ , it was a warning to all. By severing his ties to Zexion, Vexen was probably protecting him the way Lea couldn't protect Isa.

And then, after almost a week of waiting, Xemnas showed up after having them all gathered. Lea was sitting on a couch, trying to go for a laid back attitude, when really he was just incredibly nervous. Xemnas looked at them all.

"It is with great pleasure that I inform you that Saïx's training has been a success. Come forward, Saïx."

Isa appeared, and Lea forgot all about his  _attitude_ , jumping to his feet and running to his friend, ignoring everyone around.

"You sure took your time, Isa! You said you'd be back by lunch! What weapon do you have? I'm sure mine is cooler anyway."

Isa stretched out his arm, and a massive claymore appeared. It looked heavy, and was taller than him, but he seemed to have no issue wielding it. Lea was about to make a comment when Isa talked. "My training is now complete."

Only then did Lea accept to face what he was seeing. Isa's voice was cold, almost robotic - it lacked of all the sarcastic notes he used to have. What was more concerning, however, was the scar across his face - he had a huge X marked between his eyebrows. It only made his eyes stand out even more - turquoise eyes now replaced with pure gold. Lea gasped, taking a step back.

"Isa, what did they…"

"Please refrain yourself from calling me that," Isa's robotic voice answered. "My name is Saïx. Be sure to remember this, Axel."

This was it. This was over. They used to have the world at their feet, they used to be immortals, because together, they were unbreakable. And yet, Xemnas had found the way to break them. He understood that because he thought nothing could hurt him, Isa was gone.

Matching the X scar on his friend's face, Axel made a huge cross scar on who he used to be. There was no point in pretending he was still fine. Not when he was broken beyond repair.

**Author's Note:**

> I think I first came up with this idea after seeing a lot of AkuSai on Twitter (sometimes as a ship, most of the time as friendship) ; it's not the first time I write about them, actually, one of my first KH fic was about how they lost their hearts! (of course the two fics tell different stories about that)  
> I hope you enjoyed! I wasn't planning on having Zexion interfere as much, but he was a good way for our heroes to question themselves about what was fair or not - and then Vexen stepped in as a dad, and while I dislike Vexen, I kind of like him in here.   
> I hope we'll get to know how they really lost their hearts - I want to know the story behind Saïx's scar. What do you think it could be?  
> Make sure to leave a review if you enjoyed my work!


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